You Were Conceived In My Heart
My heart is a little torn… although I feel that much closer to having you and I’m really happy about that, I’m also torn with the fact that I won’t be able to have all the babies that will be “formed” a couple weeks from now. I want you to know that if I could, I would have all of you grow in my belly.
Because of some physiological issues, mom and dad had to ask a doctor for help so we could have you in out family. The treatment is called in vitro fertilization, and the doctor takes dad’s seeds and mom’s eggs, and puts them together. God adds a little magic, life begins and you start to grow. Then the doctor puts you back into mom’s belly and you’ll live there for the next 9 months… that’s how you exist now. It’s a little different than the way other kids were created, but not with less love. We wanted you so much and the possibility of never meeting you was devastating… we had to do whatever it took.
The sad part is that there will be a lot more babies/embryos than I could possibly grow and raise, but what do I do? They’re still a part of our family, they are still a part of us and I don’t want them to die. We might have other families adopt them and hopefully we can all meet them one day… I’m just concerned on how this would affect everyone, how it would affect our family.
After doing Family Constellation I know how badly this can resonate on you, on our family dynamic, and on the babies that will be raised by different families. My hands are tied and this is such a hard decision to make, but yet, there’s really one option to choose. I choose to have you. I hope that the ripples of this decisions won’t be bad. I hope you understand and love us for it one day.
For now, we’re just focused on the thought of meeting you soon.
With all our love,
Mom & Dad