Why didn’t anyone tell me this stuff when I was a teenager? A letter from the past to my 15ish year old kids of the future
Hi children of mine! This is momma speaking from the past to help you through your tough teenage years. Before you get all defensive and let unwillingness to listen to your mom take over, try to relate. You’ve been around for a few years and although you’re not the most experienced person there is — who is though? Not even us! But that’s life, an ever evolving learning experience that you must enjoy — you’re more experienced than kids younger than you.
Let’s say for example that you see a 3 year old kid that’s about to stick a knife into the power outlet. Would you stop him/her? Absolutely! In your experience you’ve already learned that this will be very painful and that you shouldn’t do it! We have a similar situation between us, but with me on top.
I’m not pretentious, I don’t think I know it all and I do believe you should be responsible for your decisions and actions. My job is to make sure that you don’t screw up too bad, follow your heart, stay true to yourself, and find happiness.
With that said, here are a few things that you should know at your age:
1) Likelihood is, s/he’s not the one! I’m sure your heart is telling you otherwise and that you feel like the world will crumble if you’re not together, but there are so many variables to consider. You will both change so much in the decade to come… your values, your desires, your goals will be formulated as you experience life and you’ve just begun. This relationship will eventually end… you might suffer a lot, or you might not… but if you do, just know that all things come to an end. You will come out of this stronger and more experience than when it started and that’s what life is about!
2) The best way to get over a heartbreak is to love yourself first! Get out of bed, get a haircut, go shopping, hang out with your friends! You need to feel that happiness is something that grows from the inside out, and not the other way around. No one else in the world is responsible for your happiness but you.
3) You’re going to change! Life has just begun… the more experiences you live through, good and bad, all the decisions you make, will help shape the YOU of the future. You must think of who you want YOU of the future to be and try your best to be that person, to be the very best person you can be. Be open-minded, listen to others, really listen and understand what they go/went through, learn from their experiences.
Spend time actively trying to understand yourself. You can change your mind as many times as you want, but you can’t change the “core of you”… The better you know yourself the better you’ll know what you want in life, what you want from your friends, what you want in a partner, in your career…
4) Not everyone you meet is a keeper. And that goes for friends as well. People have a need to connect, you should know this because you feel it too, don’t you? Sometimes you may not like someone and sometimes, someone may not like you. And that’s ok. You need to learn to accept others and respect their decisions to be who they are. If someone walks out of your life, let them. If it’s a really important person to you, you must at least fight to keep the friendship, but respect the other persons decision. I know sometimes being a teenager can feel pretty lonely but it’s just a feeling and you need to work it out. Talk to me, talk to a friend, talk to someone about it. You’re not going to be lonely! There are 7 billion people in the world and it’s only 2014! Imagine how many people there will be by the time you’re reading this!
5) Everyone you know is insecure! Its a human condition! Its called vulnerability. A lot of times people confuse vulnerability with weakness, but don’t be fooled, vulnerability is necessary, weakness you need to get rid of. Vulnerability is feeling exposed, insecure, like someone could hurt you emotionally… weakness is not standing up for your self, not voicing your opinion, not owning up to your actions. You can only feel love if you let yourself be vulnerable. Love is the ultimate connection. Don’t think for one moment that that person that looks super confident doesn’t have any insecurities… they do too, they just mask it well or have different insecurities than the ones you do…
6) WORK OUT! It’s a matter of time until you turn 20, than 30, then 40 etc… exercise you not only make you healthier, it will make you stronger, fit, confident, happier (scientific fact!) and when you do reach those milestones you will feel so much better than your peers who didn’t make the same choices… To understand the need for exercise you should understand how the body works and that changes throughout the years… one of the things that change is your metabolism, which is the rate which your body consumes calories.. right now you’re doing great because you’re body is growing and developing so it uses all then some more calories.. but by the time you’re 30 your stomach will be used to a certain amount of food and so will your brain, but your metabolism rate will drop… scientific fact. This is not mom making things up!
7) Dont be irresponsible for too long… I’m not saying its ok to be irresponsible ever, but just don’t take too long to start your adult life, dont let it carry it through your whole 20s…
8) Save $$$! I know you can’t save a whole lot right now, but it’s not only a good habit to have, but you’ll be very happy to have reserves when you need them. You won’t just need them in times of despair! Sometimes, good opportunities will knock on your door and you may just lose it because you weren’t ready
9) Follow your heart. Don’t let anyone tell you how you should feel, not even me. You’re the only one that knows your true self… everyone has hidden parts that are not shared with others, that are secrets inside us.. don’t have so many secrets that it paralyzes you. Own who you are! Be proud of who you are! Stand for what you believe in! Even when other people try to bring you down. Forgive the for they’re soul is ignorant and they haven’t evolved and grown as much as you…
10) Life isn’t fair. Sometimes life will totally kick you in the butt… you must always pick yourself up again. Some people might also try to hurt you and they might actually achieve that. But don’t let their actions rob you of what is important to you. Do what you love!
Stay true to yourself always my love!