Monthly Archives: April 2014

Envisioning My Kids

images (7)I would like to have 4 girls, 2 biological and 2 adopted. I think my husband is only down to the first half of this plan..

I don’t have any boys names on my list… just could never think of any boy names I like and that would work both in English and Portuguese… could use some suggestions actually… but for girls I like Seisha, India, Kenzie, Shiva, Luna and Leah…. but probably can’t use Leah considering that’s one of baby daddy’s ex’s name. :/

I hope you’ll have your dad’s hazel eyes, strong teeth and great (although balding) hair. From mom you’ll inherit slender body, beautiful nose, and pro-activity. Dad, like many other dads, is not the best at getting stuff done so let’s leave him out of this one.  Read the rest of this entry


Coming Out of the Infertility Closet

I wrote this post on my LOVEcomaDANI blog…. but wanted to share it with you all as well… hopefully it inspires you too.


My Infertility Closet Everyone has secrets, things we find hard to talk about. We all have closets…and they are scary and we hate it. Closets are just a hard conversation. This is a story of how coming out of the infertility closet has set me free.

Some closets might contain lighter secrets than others but make no mistake, all closets are hard to come out of. At first closets feel safe. They provide a world where your insecurities can pass by unscathed and unacknowledged by others. It may feel like keeping your closet door shut you’re safeguarding your heart, but in reality you’re cultivating a time bomb.

For months I endured silent depression and deep sadness, all alone. My husband was is denial that there was any problem at all with us and just kept repeating we should keep trying and one day it would happen naturally. Friends also ask when we were gonna have…

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And The Award Goes to…. ME! Again!

liebsterThis must be a record! I WAS NOMINATED BY MY NOMINEE!! Two Liebster Awards in 1 day! I’m very flattered you think I’m funny This Cyster and no, I do not sound like I write… if you met me you would probably think “Did she have a bowl of retarded for breakfast?”. However, neighbors or not I am sure we would be friends as I always have margaritas and wine at the house to lure people like you in. 😉

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And The Liebster Award goes to…. taan-taan-taan-taaaaaan!

Liebster Award

When I started blogging I didn’t realize that I was at risk of people actually reading my ramblings. After the initial “oh shit, somebody found me”, I’m glad to announce I’m enjoying this new blogging vice very much. It’s a great substitute for my heroin addiction.

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You better recognize


You better recognize that not only I’m willing to be covered in poop, barf, and snot for the next 10 7 5 years, I also had to go through some fucked up shit just to get you to exist.

It’s never too late to learn to be grateful and thank others for their sacrifices. Now, how about that back rub?

2014-04-22 15_40_48-Funny TTC Thread! _ Trying to Conceive (TTC) 2014-04-22 15_40_01-Funny TTC Thread! _ Trying to Conceive (TTC)














Did Your State Score an ‘F’ on This Fertility Report Card?

I was happy I live in Hawaii… Goddamn it! now I need to move to Massachussetts…

And We Enter The Danger Zone

Danger 2 week wait

Danger 2 week wait

That’s it, in a few days I’ll find out whether my home pregnancy test will show + or -. Taking the gonadotropin shots was the easy part. I would repeatedly inject myself in the eyeball if it meant I could find out sooner.

Somehow I managed to cruise by the 1st 11 days of my 2 week wait kinda peacefully…. but inevitably my brain cells started to get really excited and bump against one another creating brain heat, which caused a strange effect recognizable by the crazy urge to Google “pregnancy symptoms” over and over, causing great anxiety.

Boobies hurt, back hurts, and today I had a little bit of pink spotting. The shitty part is that all the symptoms can go either way. I’m now entering the danger zone… at time for which husbands are most fearful for their lives as hell hath no fury like an infertile scorned.

But don’t worry, I’m not gonna kill your dad.

Love, mom


Drinking My Way Through the 2 Week Wait


I’m 8 days past ovulation and I fucking hate this! Can time move any slower? I’ve had 14 two week wait periods since I started trying to make you from nothing and I have shown signs that several personalities reside in me.  

Trying to Conceive


It all started with the sweet hopeful bliss of finally taking the step of making a little human with the one you love. The baby making sessions at this stage involve romantic music, candles, flowers and sexy lingerie.  It’s an amazing time in every couple’s life.

A few months later and you start to suspect you’re doing this baby making thing wrong. You thought that it was all about getting the beef in your taco but turns out you’re missing a piece of the puzzle. So you buy ovulation predictor kits (OPKs) and start testing every day on the next cycle to make sure you don’t miss it. You don’t know it yet but it’s only the beginning of an obsession that will consume you.   

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Ain’t that a bitch kids?



A wise man once taught me a very important lesson in life… you can run but you can’t hide, taxesthe tax man will not let it slide! You’re 5 (or 6 or 7) years old and it’s time to start learning about finances. I will give you a little bit of cash every week and I expect you to do something smart with it. Just saying, at least don’t be completely stupid.

I know that $1 won’t get you very far and you’re gonna need more cha-ching to get that sneakers bar you’re screaming and throwing yourself on the floor at the grocery store to convince me that I should buy it for you. That’s when I’ll know, I’ve got you by the balls! (evil laugh)

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Note to mama

Adults seem to forget that a lot… I never want to. ..f7321b26a69789ffe41457be6c648463

Today I read an article on the Huffington Post that I have vowed to never forget! Everyone that knows me can easily tell I’m a fast paced person… sometimes physically dragging friends and “husband” down the road when going on a “supposedly” nice breezy walk… I walk, eat, and exist “fast”.

I vow to at least restrain my use of “hurry up”, not just to the kids, but to myself as well… I need to be reminded every once in a while that its OK — actually it’s a necessity — to stop and smell the roses…